Three minutes up the road from the Lincoln School Writers’ Retreat is an open, sunny cemetery housing the remains of some of Mariaville’s oldest families.

Just know that when it comes to renovating in real life, your schedule is not your own (unless you’re doing it all yourself), the process costs top dollar, and there’s no Joanna Gaines or Jenn of No-Demo Reno to take the hard work of decision-making, and the harder work of Plan-B-making, out of your tired, callused, bleeding hands.